WHY DO GIRLS LOVE LIES?

There are two ways to catch a woman’s attention! If you want to be a ladies’ man, you’ve either got to be rich, or be a darn good liar!
I know so many girls reading this would be like, what?
But yes, sister, that’s the truth, and you know it.
Girls love to be told stories that are out of this world. Girls love to be pampered and made to feel very special. They love to be treated like queens, and demigods.
Girls love to roll with the big and mighty. They love to hang with powerful men, and men who make things happen.
So many girls say that they can’t date a guy who does not have a car! So what is the guy who does not have a car supposed to do? Borrow his friend’s car, and tell his lady it’s his? Hmmmm.
Girls are indeed very special creatures, and I always say that the best way to understand a woman is to realize that you can never understand her.
Women are very complex, and we may never fully understand what goes on in those pretty heads of theirs. Women could be extremely gullible, and still yet they could be as hardened as a stone.
Girls are wily, but yet they act like they don’t know shit(excuse my English). They act all naïve, and all that, when in reality, they have more experience than we guys. Girls!
A girl would lay awake all night thinking of a certain guy, and still yet when she sees the same guy in the morning, she acts all hostile.
I once dated a girl, who swore to her friends that she could never have anything to do with me. Whenever her friends talked about me, she’d hiss, and ask them to talk of better things. Hmmmn.
This same girl would profess her undying love to me, and tell me she had never loved anybody like me in her whole life. Hmmn.
Why are girls like that?
Girls love the good life. They adore comfort, and would do anything to live in luxury.
Most of the girls, nowadays, are insanely materialistic, and the only thing they are interested in his money!
Don’t get me wrong though! I love money too, but when money is your primary and only focus, then there is a flaw. Such a materialistic girl is only setting up herself for a fall.
Girls are no longer interested in your dreams, and ambitions. As far as they are concerned, that one na for your pocket. Girls!
Why do girls love lies? Girls love lies because they fall in love with their ears, so if you’re looking for a girlfriend, be ready to let your mouth spew forth sweet nothings.
Whenever most people see my book or hear me sing, they are always of the opinion that I have lots of girlfriends (I am neither going to confirm or deny that).
The reason is because my books are full of sweet, and romantic words…………..in short, what ladies like.
That girl wants you to complement her hair. She wants you to admire her in the red dress that brings out all her curves. She wants you to tell her she has a smile as bright as the morning sun.
Basically, that girl wants you to lie to her! She wants you to tell her she’s the most beautiful person on earth, when in reality, she isn’t all that!
That’s girls for you! If you want to be popular with the womenfolk, you should seriously buy my books, because they’re going to make your job way simpler. Lol!
Girls love lies, though they would never admit it. If you think I’m lying, tell the next girl you see a blatant sweet lie and watch for her reaction.
She’d melt in smiles, and tell you thank you. That’s for sure!

NIGERIA AT 50?

How does one write about Nigeria without sliding into a pit of despondency? How does one catalogue Nigeria’s fifty years of independence without been wet in the eyes? All these questions, and many more, beg for answers in my crowded, and already tender mind.
Nigeria is a case study in self inflicted suffering of the worst kind. Nigeria provides the best form of paradox possible: a nation crippled by extreme lack, yet swimming in an ocean of abundance.
The great writer, and sage, Chinua Achebe, pondered on the incredulousness of a man that lives on the banks of the river Niger, yet washes his hands with spittle. Absurd, yes, but sadly, that has been Nigeria’s case for fifty odd years.
Every day we cry. We lament over our miserable state, and put forward numerous analysis to explain, or at least try to understand, how we came to this sorry pass.
Many have fingered corruption as the shameless and extremely culpable culprit, and I’m sure, were corruption to be a man, it would have been long dead.
But sister, what is corruption? Who is its father? Where does it live? I have to know, because it has caused too much havoc, and I must shoot it dead.
I can’t hear an answer, so I’m thinking corruption doesn’t really exist? Oh, but it does, I know, because I am corrupt. Just like you are!
I have no explanation, no excuses……………I am simply what Nigeria has made me!
Nigeria has dug a scar in my heart, and everyday it gets deeper by blows of anguish and inhumanity dealt by conscienceless leaders.
Electricity is down, nay, comatose. We wallow in darkness, and it’s no wonder we continually stumble. We still burden God for power, when countries, it burns my heart to say this, like Ghana, enjoy uninterrupted electricity.
The hospitals have become ‘waiting rooms’ for the undertaker, and lives have been wasted in desecration of the Hippocratic oath. Doctors are more on strike than on call, and the nation is ignored, unloved, untended, and neglected like an orphan.
What about the schools? They have become like wayward children bringing embarrassment and shame! Pray, what sort of nation neglects to educate and empower her youths? Isn’t that tantamount to shooting oneself in the foot?
Education, is regarded, world over, as the catalyst for growth, and improvement in today’s technologically driven world, but Nigeria treats its future with disdain, and leaves its youths to be tutored by the streets.
Nigeria is fifty years old as an independent nation, and yet well over fifty per cent of her secondary school students failed woefully in the just concluded Senior School Certificate Examinations (SSCE).
Every facet of our national life has been tarred by the brush of irresponsibility, and now we’ve been forced to seek salvation from deities and supreme beings.
The schools have failed. The hospitals have collapsed. The government has become virtually non-existent, and the people have no other place to go than churches and mosques.
People have lost all hope in the ability of their (s)elected ‘servants’ to ease their plight, and now they moonlight from one vigil to another searching for the elusive miracle.
Why?
Why have we cheapened human lives so? Why have we taken ourselves back to the Stone Age, and regress while other smaller, less endowed nations move forward and leave us behind.
How time flies, and now we are fifty? Sad!
I mentioned earlier that I’m corrupt just like you. Yes, that’s true! I am almost as corrupt as the leaders I ceaselessly castigate.
I give bribes to a secretary in my school so she could check my results for me. I bribe PHCN officials when they come to my hall of residence and disconnect us from the grid. I bribe them because my landlord wouldn’t do that, but would rather leave me to my faith.
Sometimes, not often though, I litter the streets, and contribute to the sore that Nigeria has become.
Indeed, I attend church regularly. As a matter of fact, I’m a worker, and I strive to do my best in spite of my imperfections. Every time when I’m on my way to church, I see lots of people also going to worship.
Nigeria is a very religious country, and ninety per cent of the people I know consciously practice one religion or the other. But that has refused to yield into a spiritual rebirth for our badly raped and battered motherland.
We practice religion, but have little faith. We pray, but yet we do not believe. We preach, and still go ahead to act differently. We demand too much from our politicians, and have auctioned off our values and ideals to the highest bidder.
The society readily celebrates money regardless of its origin. The same society that wishes to be like America scoffs at honesty, and makes mockery of probity.
We mouth platitudes, and love towards each other, hiding behind a veneer of envy, and pettiness. We are not happy when somebody else is progressing, and when such happens, we are convulsed by the ‘pull him down’ syndrome, and we do everything within our power to see that person fall. And even when we don’t contribute to a person’s downfall, we are all too happy when it happens.
Why?
Nigeria is fifty! This is a big issue!
Come on, let’s face it. At fifty years of age, a man shouldn’t be living with his parents, or still be going about in diapers.
At fifty, a nation should have passed the ‘teething’ phase of its existence. At fifty, a country should aggressively educate its youths so as to guarantee the future.
At fifty, in 2010, a nation with enormous resources like Nigeria, shouldn’t be grappling with electricity crisis. At fifty, a nation should be working like crazy to meet up with the infrastructural level of other developed nations.
At fifty, is Nigeria doing all these? The answer is a resounding no! Nigeria has gotten her priorities wrong. Big time!
Our leaders complain of a lean purse and admonish us to take austerity measures, but they do not hesitate to increase their allowances. And buy private jets.
Nigeria offers a lot of things to write about, and most of them are sad!
How does one explain the fact that in spite of the mind blowing amount of money Nigeria has made from oil, the country still ranks as one of the poorest in the world, even in Africa?
All around me, I see wretched people. People who are suffering only because they were born in Nigeria. I see unsung people who would have been elevated to iconic proportions if they were in a placelike America.
Every day, I see people who would have been locked up in places like England been idolized and put forward as role models.
And yet, they tell us that there is no substitute to hard work and integrity. Really? When we see people who have done no other hard work in their lives than to loot and steal. We see those people rising to the top in our sick and precarious nation.
If indeed Nigeria will rise, and be counted amongst respected nations of the world, we need an awakening, an overall overhauling of our ideals, beliefs, values, attitude, lifestyle, and every other idiosyncrasy that has gotten us to this abject state.
Rather than celebrate, we should stand sober, and realize that we are getting old, and our age old excuse of been an ‘infant nation’ is no longer valid. We are adult now, and we should begin acting it.
Otherwise………………..I shudder to say it, Nigeria would become a nonentity.