IN LOVE WITH TWO WOMEN

What is love? Million dollar question! Does love exist? If it exists, does it fade. If it fades, why?
Can you fall in love with two people at the same time?
So many questions.
Love used to be an alien concept to me. I thought it was a ‘Hollywood creation.’ A concept that only existed in the world of theatre.
I’ve only had two girlfriends in my life. But I wasn’t in love with them. I really cared, and tried my best to be a good man. But that was it. No love.
I wasn’t looking for love. I was just looking for compatibility. A woman that I could ‘tolerate,’ because good gracious, women could be such nags. So all-up-in-your-ear. Women are totally unreliable. Oof.
I was looking for a companion when I met Shalewa. She was the exact picture of everything I hate in a girl. Hate at first sight!
She was a neighbor to my friend. She couldn’t be termed pretty but she wasn’t bad either. What I hated about her was her loquaciousness. She had this swagger. Always daring you to go against her. She was too stubborn.
Don’t get me wrong. I dig it when a babe is independent, but she doesn’t have to be obnoxious.
We were always antagonistic towards each other, and I always teased her on end. But gradually, I began to notice that her toughness was just a façade. Deep inside, she was just a good, ambitious girl who was looking for a partner to weather the storms of life.
I began visiting her more often, and my friend soon noticed my sudden affinity for Shalewa’s room.
‘Bros, what’s your mission in that girl’s room. Don’t tell me you are interested in Shalewa. I know that you hate her,’ he said.
‘Man, I think I’m in love with that girl,’ I said.
He laughed so hard that he fell off his chair. ‘Ok…I give it to you. Joke of the century..ha ha..’ he laughed.
‘I’m serious,’ I assured him.
All my friends couldn’t believe it. Later, they began to think it was a phase. ‘He’ll soon come to his senses,’ they whispered behind my back.
But the phase soon assumed permanence, and my love waxed strong.
People felt I could settle for a prettier girl. Truly, Shalewa is simple. She doesn’t usually go for makeup like most girls. But I’m okay with that. She inspires me. She knows just what to say. And I always tease her that she has lived before. She’s so old and wise in her ways.
We dated for three years, and then I met Nancy.
Nancy was the exact opposite of Shalewa. She was incredibly pretty. She was always looking like a beauty queen, and she flaunted it.
She was shallow. Shalewa was deep. She was materialistic. Shalewa was motherly and supportive.
She was an incurable flirt. I met her at a picture studio.
She had posed for over one million pictures already, and she was still gearing for more.
‘Wow. You’re really into pictures.’ I said.
“Yeah…obviously,’ she threw it back at me. ‘Do you have a problem with that?’
‘No I love it.’

I became friends with her, and I discovered that she was hopelessly materialistic. Even Nancy’s smile had a price. If you wanted to see her smile, you had to buy her something.
My head told me to look away, but my heart…..pulled me in deeper.
I began spending heavily on her. Whereas Shalewa never demanded, Nancy always wanted something. We were always going to clubs, malls, eateries, boutiques, cinemas…you name
One day I said to her. ‘Nancy, I think I’m going to be a great actor. Perhaps, I should enroll in a drama school.’
‘Drama school? Are you out of it? How much will they pay you there?’ she asked.
‘The pay is not immediate. It has more to do with my future,’ I said.
‘The future will take care of itself. I care about now. I need to look good, and since you’re my boyfriend, you’ll be the one to pay for it.’ She said.
I couldn’t believe myself when I said, ‘Sure baby.’

The problem is I’m in love with Nancy, even though my head tells me she’s not good wife material. I’ve tried to forget about her, but after some time my thoughts return to her. I must confess, I’m hooked.
I’m still in love with Shalewa, my first love. But now I’m beginning to notice her beauty (or lack of it). Shalewa is ready to work with me to build a good future, but Nancy is only interested in money and the present.
How do I keep myself from falling in love with her. I’ve tried everything I can. Please help me. Or should I tell Shalewa?