ARE YOU A GOOD WOMAN?

The first question some people will ask is, who is a good woman? What defines good? What does a woman have to do to be termed good? Does she have to be exuberantly beautiful to fit that tag? Should she be a mother figure, an encourager….or perhaps a guardian angel?

Sometimes, when I want to tease, I ask girls if they think they are ‘good.’ They readily squeal that they are. I then proceed to ask them what makes them good. They usually begin to stutter at that point.

Essentially, labelling a thing as good usually opens room for wide debate. What is good for one man may be bad for another. But we will all agree that there are ‘universal’ expectations as to how a responsible girl (spinster) should comport herself to befit the status of a good girl.

A good girl must be wise enough to realise that she is a strong independent woman. She should be focused, intelligent and fore-sighted. She must have concrete plans for her future viz self and career development.

A good girl should be humble and ready to sacrifice. A relationship is like cooking a pot of stew. You have all the ingredients, but the soup isn’t ready yet. You have to go through the stress of cutting, washing and grinding the pepper. You also have to bear the heat of cooking while adding the right condiments and spices. As everybody knows, two people might have the same ingredients, but their product will defer.

A good girl must be ready to cut off the bad sides of her partner. Wash him with love and understanding, and then grind him in the engine of trust and time to produce a beautiful and good soup that would be the envy of all.

A good girl should live with the understanding that she is a ‘vision helper’ to her man. Perhaps our President wouldn’t have so much ‘goodluck’ if he didn’t have ‘patience’…lol. She needs to believe firmly in the vision of her man, and should be a source of inspiration to him.

A good girl knows her man: his weaknesses, strengths, likes, dislikes, fears, temperament…..virtually everything about him. A good girl should be an anchor to her man. A balance. His equilibrium point.

She should be the one to caution him about his spending and saving habits. Advice him, as a woman, on the necessity of a man having tangible investments.

Truly, no man is a saint. Men have their faults, but a woman has to overlook her man’s fault sometimes and focus on his strengths. No man is perfect, so there will be lots of things he’s not dong right.

If he is not as caring as he should be, she should take the lead and blanket him with love and care while letting him know that she wouldn’t mind more tender loving care(TLC) herself.

If her man has some negative or irritable habits like procrastination, lackadaisical attitude or drunkenness, the good girl should act like a mother and nurture him into a better person. She should see beyond what he is at the moment and think about his bright and rewarding future.

A good girl should be forgiving. She must regard every mistake of her man as bricks that will build a strong relationship foundation.

A good girl should be ready to be a good mother. A molder of upcoming generations, for women have an enormous responsibility of being the mothers of nations.

A good girl is a virtuous woman. A crown for the head of her man. The Holy Bible says ‘her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…..she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.’ Need I say more?

A good girl is an asset any man would die to have. Ladies, the gauntlet has been thrown to you. You cannot give what you do not have. Equip yourself and work towards being the best that you can be. No man wants to be tied down to a liability.